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Old 09-29-2012, 10:36 AM   #23
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Re: Let me encourage you- I have 10 between 2&13

Originally Posted by erlyjo View Post
Where have I gone wrong? Mine are 9, 7, 2, and a newbie, but my house is a wreck, we haven't had a home cooked meal in a month, laundry is never put away, my garden is dead, and school is impossible because my kids refuse to cooperate. How do I get my big kids to help out more? All they do is complain or ignore when I ask for help. I have failed miserably.
I am so sorry you are so stressed out. BIG HUGS!!!! I am not sure what kind of discipline you have in your home but it sounds like maybe you need an overhaul. For us we have noticed that most things come down to one main issue such as: if the child is not putting away stuff, not doing chores diligently, not completeing a task the problem isn;t 3 separate things its one: laziness.

Maybe spend some time thinking about each child individually and as a whole and find the heart of the issue.
Then as a team you and your hubby need to decide what the appropriate discipline is.
Also look at outside influences. Are your children watching shows that the kids on those movies are displaying the very behavior you do not want?

Beyond that be very direct with your children as far as what is expected on a whole and each day. You may need to pause school for a month and just work on character and getting your house in order. (your children will not suffer from lack of school for a time-trust me)

I won't lie to you, overhauling your home is tedious and emotional. It will seem like every minute of everyday is a fight and then all of a sudden when the children realize that you mean business they surrender.

if your child can listen on "3" they can listen on "1". Expect immediate obedience (especially from the older ones).

A game plan is everything so you and your hubby really need to decide what is acceptable for your houshold and what is not and keep the big picture in mind- how do you want your children 5 yrs from now because what you sow currently is what you will reap then. Once you have it down then you two as a unit move forward.
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