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Old 10-03-2012, 01:14 PM   #15
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Re: Am I asking too much?

Originally Posted by my2sweets View Post
Follow through and you wont have to go through the same stuff over and over. You say youll throw them out, do it. After a time or 2 she'll do xyz b/c she knows mama means bussiness. Well it may take longer since you acknowledge you make empty threats but if you actually do what you say youre going to do she will start to believe you.

I do not think your asking to much of her at all. I reminded dd2(right before her 5th bday this summer) to cap her markers several times over a month or so and then-without warning-stopped, she left them uncapped again, they dried out, i said 'thats why you have to put caps back on', crying fit followed, I told her once she had enough money she could buy some more but I wasnt going to get her more b/c she didnt follow directions with the ones I bought and ruined them. The next time she wanted markers she did extra chores and bought them herself. We had a chat about how she needs to take care of her things b/c mama and daddy work hard for her to have fun things to do/play with-just like she had to work hard to buy her own markers. And if she doesnt respect her things, mom and dad wont be replacing them. Those markers always have lids on them now. This wk she got her 2nd-and last- reminder to cap her glue stick so it doesnt dry out. We'll see if she applies her marker lesson or if she'll need a reminder that mama aint playen.
ITA! Asking a 5 year old to clean up after herself is not asking to much. She should put the caps back on her markers and put them away every single time she uses them. She should put her toys away, if not when she is done playing with them then at least at the end of each day. Both of my boys do and have since they were small, this includes my oldest who has ASD and my youngest who is bipolar. They do it because they know they have to and they know there are consequences if they don't. When you tell a child "I will throw your markers away if you don't clean them up" and then don't follow through all you are teaching her is that she gets many warnings and chances and if she throws a big enough fit she will ultimately get her way. I understand not wanting to throw away new markers, but if you aren't willing to do something then don't say you are going to do it. Eventually if she keeps leaving the markers out they are going to dry out or someone will trip on them and break them. What I would do is tell her once "when we are done with our markers we clean them up" like you did at the begining of the day. I might even let her know that if the markers don't get cleaned up they will go away. I have a special bin with a sign that says "Uh Oh Mommy had to clean up your toys. Don't worry you can earn them back by helping Mommy." It has a frowning smilie face on it. All toys that are left out at the end of the day in the playroom go into the bin and the bin goes on a high shelf. For toys to return the child who did not clean up has to do chores for me (and not their normal chores either, extra chores). It is incredibly rare for one of my kids to go to bed with the playroom messy or even with a few toys still out. They know the rules and they know I mean business.
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