View Single Post
Old 10-03-2012, 01:54 PM   #15
newmommy13's Avatar
Registered Users
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 7,751
Originally Posted by FindingMercy
In some ways adopting was less physically taxing (no pregnancy or birth to recover from), but in many ways it was much more emotionally taxing which proved to be just as hard in my experience. The waiting, paperwork, travel, finalization process, bonding, etc. is all extremely hard to go through. Not to mention the ongoing emotional toll that open adoption carries with it (while best for our son in the long run, keeping a relationship with his birthmom - seeing her pain, navigating the feelings of having her in our lives - is a challenge). Adoption was right for our family, but I have no doubt in my mind that it is not for everyone.

ETA: As far as spreading attention amongst more children, that is one of the hardest parts of having 3 kids. It is hard to meet all their needs. But I also see the relationship that my oldest has with our son, and it's beautiful. I have less time to spend with her, but he spends time with her too and there is immense value in that. It's just a different dynamic than with two.
Oh yeah I believe that about emotions and adoption. Its uncharted terratory too, for you or myself anyway, adopt that makes it harder too. I could slap people who say adoption its the easy way. Seriously.
I, mama to dd A (3-08) dfs J (10/11) and in love with newbie dfd N! (10/13)
hopeful pre-adoptive foster family
newmommy13 is offline   Reply With Quote