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Old 10-04-2012, 04:15 AM   #3
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Re: Just need to's another spanking thread

A friend and little girl my 3 year old's age who is also in preschool with him.. her mom, my friend, texts me to tell me how every day after picking her daughter up, teacher tells her she misbehaved, was disrespectful, or deliberately disobeyed rules. She spanks and yells all the time.

My 3 year old (who is younger than hers) listens much better. Almost every playdate we have, she says this. She recognizes it, and often seems to back off and WANT me to correct her child for her, which I do. I had hoped when our kids were younger that she would see my more well behaved child, and try to copy my methods that I use during playdates.. but nope. We DO spank for serious offenses. I should say at least I do. DH is spank happy and will threaten spankings for every.little.thing. I reserve spanking for very serious matters. But I thinkeven more important than that, is when he's calm enough to talk, we talk. I give hugs and kisses and I love yous. I try to explain things in a way he can understand, and I ASK HIM questions to get his brain going too. For example, the other day 3yo DS was jumping on the bed while 5mo old DS1 was rolling around playing on the bed. BAby was laughing and thought it was funny to feel a bit bounced, DS1 was having fun. Baby rolled, and DS1 landed on an arm. Baby starting squawking and crying. DH was comign into the room just as he did that, swooped him up, swatted his butt and raised his voice telling him not to jump on the baby and to get out of the room. I gave DH a good glare, and told DS1 to come back up in bed with us and to sit quietly. When he calmed down I understood it was just an accident and that he needs to be careful jumping. I asked him what did baby brother do when he landed on his arm? And DS1 told me "baby cried! me sad. me no hurt baby. me play baby. I sorry." That's all I needed to hear, and that's all the more that should have happened. That did not warrant a spanking. I do nto credit DS1's good behavior to spanking. I credit it to the times we are better parents that discipline in a controlled, well thought out matter that takes advantage of helpign him understand his own behavior and how it effects others... not "don't do that or you get spanked".
Mommy to M (9/09) & G (4/12) & expecting Feb 2014
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