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Old 10-04-2012, 07:53 AM   #5
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 8,716
Re: Just need to's another spanking thread

So many parents get far too caught up in the "tool" for discipline (like the labels for AP) that they miss how to actually use it.
THIS!!! EXACTLY this! Whether you spank (we do sometimes) or sit your kid in time out (we do sometimes) or make them write sentences (we aren't there yet) or use natural consequences (we do) or do all of the above or something totally different...the WAY the tool is used is SO much more important than the actual tool itself. If you are using time outs and pride yourself on never spanking, but roughly throw your kid in the corner, call him an idiot and never tell him why he's in time out, then leave him there for half an hour...well that's pretty crappy use of a non spanking discipline tool. Any "good" you might have done by not spanking is completely overridden by never actually teaching the child.

But I am sick and tired of the logic that if you don't spank, you don't parent.
People who say these types of things are confusing spanking with discipline. They are confused and either don't know, don't realize, or don't remember that spanking isn't the only discipline tool in a parent's arsenal. Most *know* it and probably actually use other discipline tools, but they just don't quite make the connection in their mind. They forget that just because someone doesn't spank, that doesn't mean they don't give their kids consequences.
Kim-married to Dan
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