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Old 10-05-2012, 07:36 AM   #1
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3 ladybugs
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Join Date: May 2008
Location: New Jersey
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Religious people, did you feel called to adopt a certain way?

I have been doing a lot of soul searching and praying since I found out that one my embryos didn't make it last time I had my FET (found out 9/25). Adoption seems a logical choice to me should my last FET (sometime next month) not work out.

Yesterday I had a "light from heaven" moment and suddenly realized that a deaf child may be a very good fit for our family. I grew up blocks away from the WA state school for the deaf and have always been fascinated by the deaf culture. WA state approved ASL as a "foreign language" right before I needed to pick one in high school, so I took 2 years of it and LOVED it. Now I graduated high school in 1995, so I am a bit rusty when it comes to sign language as I don't know anyone who is deaf (hard of hearing is everywhere but they don't know sign language).

I emailed my father about this to see if I am totally nuts for even thinking this way. He took me to the WA state school for the deaf when I was so curious by these people that I would see speaking with their hands. I remember they gave me a card that had the sign language alphabet on it. He said that he could totally see me with a deaf child as I was so interested in the culture as a child.

I talked to DH about this last night and he isn't ruling it out but he is also not saying much about it. I think it scares him a bit, as he has never been exposed to the deaf community (grew up in WA but about 150 miles from me, we met here in NJ). I have said to him SEVERAL times that I wish he knew sign language as it would make noisy situations easier to communicate in. In fact last week we were at Chick-Fil-A and DS and I were in the play place and he wanted to know how DS was (DH was in the eating area). I signed to him how DS was but he didn't get it. So it already is a bit of our family dynamic even if DH isn't quite there (DS never learned sign language either as DH could figure out his language at 3 months - maybe even earlier. Yeah I call DH a baby whisper!).

After my moment yesterday (which I have had a few moments like this in my life, including a time when I was basically told when I would meet DH) I feel like even if I get pregnant next month (still hoping for that) that this a way to complete our family. I always wanted 3 children and it would be a miracle if my last embryo survived the thaw and split (I honestly feel like it would be a miracle if it survived the thaw and implanted without splitting). DH said he wanted 3 children too so I am curious how things will transpire.

So when you adopted, did you feel called like this to go in a certain direction? I know I have a lot more prayer to do and I might be a big adjustment for members of the extended family (grandparents and so on) but we live at least 1000 miles from our nearest relative, so it wouldn't be a HUGE issue.

Finally, has anyone seen a child under 6 months that is deaf come up for adoption? I feel like this would be ideal for us though I may have to pray more about that issue and what would work for us the best.
Jennifer (39) - Wife since 12/2003 with 5 children - 3 waiting for me in heaven , and 2 delighting me everyday ! Lymphoma survivor and mother to baby born post pelvic radiation!
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