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Old 10-05-2012, 07:55 AM   #16
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

Originally Posted by ruvalokiteshvara View Post
I don't know about any one else, Cheryl, but whenI get indications that E is annoying the carp out of me because his brain doesn't know how NOT to, I feel at least a little bit better knowing I still have time to lay the proper groundwork while his brain is catching up to me! The hard thing is remembering not to fall into the escalating cycle of consequences and frustration, knowing that it actually serves no purpose other than to put us at odds with each other!

That's what we live with too. It helps us a lot to know their behaviour is not done with malicious intent. It really does make a massive difference in how we handle a situation if we can remember that....and it's not always easy to remember.

And like you say not punishing all the time too because it does nothing but make everyone angry.

Derry and I visited a friend yesterday who's sons are both ADHD. They are a bit further behind on their meds-setup than we are and consequently their oldest son is under-medicated at the moment.

She told us that her oldest was caught at 9:45pm with his NDS playing in bed and was given an instant ban of all electronic games until Christmas! I was horrified. That's far too long to punish such a little thing. No warning, now way to make it good again. Nope, the ban stands and that's it.

That's no way to go about things especially with an ADHD kid that was most defiantly not medicated at all at that time of night. He was not responsible for his actions in that moment and shouldn't be punished so harshly....but she says she has to stick by her husband and uphold the punishment or risk making him look like a nothing in the eyes of their children.

It's hard Cheryl....I think I'd have to treat Ginger as if she was ADHD if she were my child. Then look at the behaviour and consequences in a different way because if she's not responsible than the punishment has to be different. Yes, still punish dangerous behaviour and limit things but such long limits make no sense to an ADHD kid because they cant remember what happened to cause the punishment in the first place and so they learn nothing from it.
I am Janine; mum to Shannon (10), Derry (8), Cameron (7), & Fynn (4)

Last edited by ~whitehologram~; 10-05-2012 at 07:57 AM.
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