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Old 10-05-2012, 08:11 AM   #18
cherylchoo's Avatar
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: a Texan in the northern Detroit 'burbs
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Re: Basically it's Friday!

Yeah, Janine, I'm beginning to see that approach may have to be. I generally don't favor long bans on stuff at this age because like you said, it is not effective. But I've noticed her behavior is worse when she plays or watches her sibs play Wii a lot, so I'm kind of killing two birds with one stone ATM by keeping her off it for the rest of the month. Right now not letting her attend events as a consequence of really bad behavior seems to be highly motivating. I also told her this morning, get through the whole day without any issues, and we can discuss positive consequences she can earn in some sort of structured plan. Probably go back to the top ten list, that seemed to work well before.

It's difficult. I know what her weaknesses are:
Transitioning from one activity she really likes to another.
Not being chosen/called on/etc for some special significance, even if it's minor.
Losing a competition or game.
Feeling the need for "payback" for injustices she feels were done to her, and taking those matters into her own hands. This is a new one, and I'm pretty sure it has to do with something she read in a book - probably Captain Underpants, but it might be one of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid knockoffs.

So obviously she has plenty of opportunity to practice this stuff at home, especially since she has siblings. I can curb her behavior at home more easily because I know her weaknesses, can spot the triggers, and redirect the behavior with teaching moments before it gets out of hand. In a school setting, particularly with teachers she doesn't see every day (playground monitors, the music/art/gym/spanish teachers, etc) they don't know this, can't anticipate this, and even if they could have way too many other kids to watch to really be able to do what I do at home. They are at a disadvantage, for sure.
Detroit-area SAHM to Rose 12/03, Ginger 11/05, and little Ian 4/08.
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