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Old 10-06-2012, 04:41 PM   #4
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RainandRedemption
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Re: Is it possible to parent your children without lying to them? Do you try?

Thanks! I'm going to quote you cause I really do think you can parent without lying so I kinda want to talk about it

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fairycat View Post
Honestly, you can not be 100% honest in this soceity, it is a culturally excepted norm too ingrained to not continue.

Example;

How are you feeling today?

Honest answers you want to give: Not well, Bad or things are falling apart around me.

Your Answer: Fine, and you? What about "Not the greatest but I'm still alive right? How are you?" If it's done with a smile does it still come off as jerk-ish? I feel better about smiling when I'm being honest that my day kinda sucks than I do when I'm saying I'm ok but I'm not. Of what if you realize that there are people far worse off than you and you're world isn't coming to an end, so although you feel crappy, you know you are still "fine"

If your kid asked on one of those days, you know they are going to ask a 1000 questions, if you admit you are anything but fine, are you honestly going to answer truthfully, or are you going to wait, maybe talk your day over with SO and then see if your day gets better, before, blurting it all out to your 6 year old?
When I am seriously having a rough day I'm honest about it with my kids. I'll say that I'm not the happiest with DH and I'm kinda sad. Questions follow and I'll say that when you are married to someone and live with them, there are hard parts to that, and sometimes you feel bad and you have to work through it and make it better. I don't have a problem breaking that kind of stuff down into terms that the kids understand.

Death, My kids ask questions about death and I try to answer them
Sex, I'll answer their questions in simple terms, but if they keep asking I don't have a problem with them knowing about sex. I used to be uncomfortable about it, but after thinking about it... what would I tell them other than the truth? I mean, you can say it in simple terms. "mommies and daddies fit together like puzzle pieces" is something I just read on another thread. You don't have to use words like erection and orgasm
answering embarassing personal questions about your self, like what?
your child like what?
or that stranger in public, "shhh, you can ask me later. There are some things you don't talk about in public"
things that are beyond their age understanding, like what?
we lie sometimes for very good reasons, sometimes just because it is the excepted norm in some cases, sometimes cause it's easier and sometimes for the wrong reasons, but we all lie to everyone, if we didn't we would come off as pretty big jerks in this society. I have seen people try it, it sucks. I accept I will lie to my kid, but try to do it for good not evil

Now to watch Liar, Liar
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