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Old 10-08-2012, 06:26 AM   #37
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Re: Question for the Non-Santa Crew

Originally Posted by Melaine View Post
Haven't read any of the comments, but we are middle-ground with Santa. We talk about him as a fun holiday character, like rudolph or frosty. I have no problem with having Santa toys or decorations and we love reading The Night Before Christmas, singing songs about Santa, etc. We could even write letters to Santa, I am fine with that. Heck, we might do Elf on the Shelf if I find a cheap one. But my kids know that Santa is not real and that the gifts come from us. There are several reasons, the first being that I don't want Santa to take over the place that Jesus should have in the holiday. The other reason is that I just am not comfortable with telling them something that isn't true. I realized that when I was a nanny and the little girls asked me questions about Santa. I was very uncomfortable to have to tell any half-truths to her, because she had learned to trust me. So I knew way before I had kids that we would never "do Santa" to the full extent that some do.

As far as wanting the kids to know the gifts come from us, I get this too. My perspective on this is that, first of all, there is a huge disparity in gifts between children. HUGE. Should my kids think that they are getting $50 worth of gifts when a friend is getting $500, is it because the friend was more "good" all year? I think kids can grasp the concept of priorities, finances, and circumstances better than trying to wrap their head's around the concept that Santa isn't fair.

The second reason is, I think it's important for children to realize that our providing for them is a labor of love. DH works very, very hard for the money to provide for their needs and many wants. I work very, very hard to give them a nice life at home and to make the holiday special. It's not so much that I want to get "credit" more that I want them to have the gift of feeling how much they are loved at a special time of year. For me, I think gifts are a primary love language of mine so it's important for me to be able to express love that way.
1st bolded, just b/c you [general] "do" Santa, does NOT mean he will take the place of Jesus or become more important than him. He is just another aspect of the seasosn.

When our kids ask questions about Santa, we ask them what they think or what they believe. If they ask us if he is real we never say yes. We let them think about it and decide for themselves. If they ask how he can get to all the houses in one night we tell them about the different time zones, etc.

Just b/c we let them believe in Santa does NOT mean they don't have trust in us. We create trust by being very communicative with them, being there to listen to them, and not promising something we can't follow through with.

The last bolded, I don't think provided for them means they should feel it is a labor of love. You had them and wanted them, then you SHOULD provide for them in the absolut best possible way no matter what. Not b/c they need to realize it is a labor of love. We also work very hard providing for them and making the holiday's special, it has nothing to do with them believing in Santa. They can still believe and understand how hard we work for them. And, they def. feel the love around the holiday's.
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