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Old 10-08-2012, 09:24 AM   #59
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Belle
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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I think feeling judged and feeling guilty are two totally different things that are easily conflated in parenting. People are judging my parenting in a myriad of different ways all the time. It's not a matter of feeling judged, because I know I am being judged (whether it be about how my kid is behaving, what I'm feeding them, how I'm disciplining them, what car seat they are in, how I'm educating them, etc, etc etc). Circ'ing or not is no different, although I've never personally had anyone judge or comment on my child's genitals IRL, so I don't have experience with that one.

The difference is in feeling guilt because of others' judgments. I think that boils down to security or insecurity about parenting choices we make. I care very little when someone makes a comment about something like circumcision, or breastfeeding, or co-sleeping, or whatever...even an extremely malicious comment with an attempt to shame me or make me feel bad about my choices. I don't feel guilt even if I am being judged because I'm extremely secure in my choices. BUT, make a comment about an area where I'm insecure or not sure I'm doing the right thing, or know I could do better, or see my own weakness? Then I will feel guilt because of being judged. My best example is when DS2 throws a fit in public, because I've been really struggling with how to get him to control himself and his fits are EPIC. I feel sensitive to every negative comment I hear about his behavior or my parenting him through it.

Anyway, total tangent, but something about the question made me think about this concept.
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