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Old 10-08-2012, 12:25 PM   #35
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Join Date: Nov 2009
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Re: Do you ever question your spouse/partner?

all the time. i try really hard not to do it in front of ds, but sometimes it happens. dh never takes it well, whether i do it at the moment or wait until later. my issue is that i think he's really inconsistent. he'll just ignore ds doing something completely wrong, or allow ridiculous behavior, and then all of a sudden decide it's not ok and fly off the handle. and then his "discipline" is just geared towards ramping up the situation instead of diffusing it. ie, he'll just start screaming at ds to stop whatever and then make stupid threats that he can't/won't follow up on. like "grandma is NOT coming over if you don't put your plate on the counter". um grandma is on her way already. i'm sure not going to be the one to call and tell her to turn around and go home because a 3 yr old refused to put his plate on the counter the first time he was asked. come up with a better threat that actually can be reasonably backed up. or he'll just yell "do you want to go in timeout?! do you?" repeatedly. but never actually does it. wth is the point of threatening if you're not going to do it? and how long do i have to listen to the back and forth before you just DO something?! i usually end up getting up and putting ds, who is now in a full blown tantrum when he started out just a little obstinate, in timeout. i feel like he just tries to bulldoze over him instead of working to correct the behavior you know? tell him to do something, give him one more chance warning (calmly!) that he will go in timeout if he doesn't. then just PUT him there and be done with it. sheesh. he almost always comes out of timeout and immediately does whatever you told him to do. he's a high spirited kid who knows how to push buttons, no doubt. but there is a way of dealing with him that works, and frankly timeout is not that unusual or creative of a punishment. we're lucky it's so effective. you just have to be willing to adapt a little bit.

i'm not perfect either, i know that. and i've made plenty of mistakes with ds. dh doesn't critisize me, mostly cause he thinks it's silly to discuss parenting "strategy" and so gets defensive when i bring it up, and would never bring it up himself cause when it's not happening, he isn't thinking about it. it's really annoying to me.

Last edited by Liadan23; 10-08-2012 at 12:27 PM.
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