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Old 10-08-2012, 03:27 PM   #19
mibarra
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Re: Parenting style: Raising a person

Quote:
Originally Posted by dissidentdad View Post
All three. I have never been one to get into deep conversations with strangers, however I have found that being a new dad people are more than happy to share their opinions on parenting with me. I've been putting my original posts (not my replys to people's replys) on my blog so they will definitely have a chance to see my journey through parenting.

Also, I have spent time around parents and children prior to being a parent myself in PA, VA, NC, TN, KY, CA and now CO as well as some limited time in Iraq, so I do not feel my views are based on a limited group of people that think in the same manner.

While no one would say that they feel their children are not people, actions speak louder than words. One of my easiest examples is circumcision, the answer usually given as to why it is in the best interest of the child is so that they do not feel ostracized by society, so that they look like daddy or for religious purposes. All three answers do not take into account what the child would decide to do as an adult. I do not remember as a boy, teenager or man comparing my penis to others. I remember having peeing races with my father, he was circumcised I was not, the fact that we were different never came up, and to this day I could not describe my fathers manhood. Religion is supposed to be a personal choice and freedom not a parent's choice, there are many men who convert to Judaism later in life and have themselves circumcised if necessary, I don't understand why the same option isn't given to our children to choose for themselves. None of the reasons takes the opinion of the person these acts are being performed upon into account.
I feel the same way about circumcision, but as parents we sometimes do have to make other choices in the interest of our children that others may not agree with or may think 'violate the childs rights'. For example, my older daughter is hearing impaired, with auditory neuropathy. We had the option of cochlear implants, which are considered by some to be unnecessary, even cruel. We made the choice on her behalf that oral language would give her the best access and options in life, and so we had her implanted. We did not ask her opinion, as she was 1 at the time. I could go into all the reasons why we choose this route (with a lot of consideration to her individual personality and likely outcomes), but there will still be people who think we 'violated her rights' by choosing to have the surgery, because she 'may not want them' when she's older. Circumcision, as a purely cosmetic procedure, is a different story in some ways of course. Though for some people it is truly a religious choice, that they consider similar to baptism. That makes the argument sticky legally speaking. Fortunately in many areas circumcision rates are going down.

I definitely agree as a parent we always have to keep in mind that a child IS a person, and should be treated as such in all ways possible.
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