Re: Going pat 41 weeks...really dangerous?
Your midwife is a professional and should know the standard of care with respect to pregnancy past 41 weeks. I'm sure since she's still your midwife at 41 weeks along, you trust her expertise to help you make informed decisions about your pregnancy. If she's being wishy-washy or unclear with you, tell her she's confusing you and you need her to be clear about the risks and her specific recommendation.
FWIW, I was pregnant to 41 weeks both times and my doctor said the same thing your midwife said.
Good luck with your upcoming delivery, mama!
Mom to two little boys