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Old 10-09-2012, 11:02 AM   #25
TexasHeatherLynn's Avatar
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Originally Posted by newmommy13 View Post

we are having a very hard time bonding with our dfs. he is a really hard baby. i really, really hope dfs is RU eventually. I do not want to be faced with the question of adopting him because at this point i don't think we could. he is very needy and it is hard to get anything accomplished unless i put him down and then he screams. sonic wail style. sometimes he's not even crying, he's just screaming for no reason. he did this today, i think there was a half hour where i wasn't holding him and he wasn't screaming. he screams whenever he sees food or drink even if he just ate. he screams for the next bite when he hasn't even swallowed yet. he barfs a lot, even on reflux meds. its better now that i can make sure he dosen't eat or drink a ton at once, and it really makes him wail when i can tell he's had enough and i have to stop him. i am looking forward to his 1 year check up next week to see what the pedi has to say about this. he doesn't get any dairy soy or beef, pretty much just chicken, turkey, pasta and rice and whatever veggies and fruits i can sneak in. its so hard. i want to love him. he is so cute and occasionally is very sweet. we just had a hard day today.
I am so sorry! That sounds like how my bio-son was, who we now know has asperger's syndrome and ADHD and ODD.

We are going into our foster care knowing that even if a child comes available for adoption while in our care, that we may just be the stopping spot on its way to its forever family. We understand *not every child* will be a good fit for our family. It would be difficult, I am certain, but unless everything just 'clicks', we will not pursue adoption. Your situation is exactly why we feel like that. Also, having a son who at 16 *still* wears us out with his incessant fixations, talking, desires, and fits, we know we wouldn't welcome another child into our home permanently that we know will drain us. We do understand it could happen with any of them without is knowing it, but, I hope you get what I am saying. We would also adopt a newborn sight-unseen not knowing what issues it could have, and we would love it forever regardless. I guess this is part of the bittersweetness of fostering to get a glimpse into how your life would be with this little person in it forever. They may improve, and...well, they may not. My son was a LOT easier as an out of control toddler than he is as a teen.
Wife to Chris Quiverfull, non-vaxxing, crunchi-ish Bio & Adoptive Momma to:
Wyatt (18), Tucker (17), Michaela (16), Troy (8), Jolie (10mo)
"Birdie" to one grand baby, Coleton!
Riley & Dusty, twins lost 12/11 & 31/03~~Brody born still 5/28/05
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