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Old 10-10-2012, 12:14 PM   #44
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SaraElise
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Re: Selfish with your baby

I usually don't put my babies down unless they are sleeping until they start working on being mobile. They have all had reflux and are pretty miserable when they are not upright, so I wear them a lot and it's no big deal.

Out in public or when guests are over, it's not so much that *I* want to hold them (though I do!) as that I don't feel comfortable with other people holding them. It's not rational thought most of the time, but an intense uncontrollable feeling of uneasiness. Almost like I feel like a part of me is missing when they are with someone else.

I think I get so attached while pregnant that it really feels like a part of me is on the other side of the room and I really am not comfortable with that. The only exception is when my husband is holding the babies it doesn't bother me in the slightest. Probably because they are a part of him too

FWIW, my held all of the time kids are EXTREMELY independent. Once they were 18 months and older they never cry when I leave them at grandparents or with babysitters, my 5 year old didn't even care to say goodbye to me on his first day of preschool and I had to actually get his attention to let him know I hoped he would have a nice day!

I don't think there is a right and wrong in this, and I don't think anyone is saying it is "better" to hold your baby all of the time, but I get the vibe some people really think that it is "better" to pass the baby off to others and I am not sure I agree with that if it makes mom and/or baby uncomfortable.
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