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Old 10-10-2012, 05:22 PM   #48
7mom7
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 608
Re: Parenting style: Raising a person

Quote:
Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
I have learned, as my oldest daughter has grown and quickly approaching adulthood...that parenting from this position is a mistake. My child's opinion is important...but ultimately, as a child...it's simply WRONG a lot of the time. Because of my child's lack of experience with life, her opinions, beliefs, etc, are often not based on the full reality of the situation.

I remember being a child too. I remember hating knowing the feeling of "not being taken seriously." I remember swearing that when I was a parent, when I was an adult, I would take kids seriously.

I was wrong. My job as my child's parent is to make decisions based on what I believe is BEST for my child and what I believe my child NEEDS. Her thoughts and opinions should be CONSIDERED, but parenting from them as a basis will not result in her NEEDS being met to the best of my abilities.

And to be honest, I think much of the entitlement of todays teens and young 20s adults comes from parents trying to parent by "repsecting" their child's opinions and beliefs and not parenting enough according to their child's needs.
Well said. I think that OP has many strong opinions but the truth is he is raising an infant at this time and we all learn and grow in our parenting as our children get older. If your child's opinion is that they only want to eat candy should we respect that too? My children get to voice their opinion and be heard. Many times the answer is yes and sometimes it is a firm no. I think its naive to think that you can have a hard and fast rule for each situation or always give equal consideration to a child's feelings when it could potentially be unhealthy or put them in danger. I think that in many ways our society is raising kids to be self centered because they are so used to getting their way with their parents. I mentor teens and I've seen the destruction that a parent can unintentionally do by giving too much freedom. That's not to say that overbearing parents are equally damaging. It's a balance.
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