Re: Parenting style: Raising a person
I'm sorry, I am just trying to understand where you are coming from. Both of your examples miss the mark for me. When it comes to whether your child is gay or not, since I believe that someone's sexual preference is as set as their hair color, the only opinion that is relevant is hers and not respecting her opinion can only lead to resentment and internal conflict (I have to assume we are referring to someone who has reached the age that they have sexual desire and not a six year old).
As far as how someone deals with loss of a loved one, the way they will feel about it and deal with the issue in the moment and shortly after during the grieving period can only be affected prior to the sad event, attempting to invalidate how someone feels at the crest of these difficult emotions once again will only build resentment and internal conflict. There is a scene in a movie called 'Parenthood' where a six year old girl is freaking out about bugs being zapped and killed by an electric bug zapper. Attempting to alter the way she dealt with the emotions would be impossible, the work on her psyche should have been done prior to.