Re: midwife vs. OB WWYD?
Since you can't "shop around" for other MWs, I would do just like you're thinking - go for another appointment with them, take along a list of these things that she mentioned that made you uncomfortable to hear, and see how she/they react. I think that will tell you a lot about the care they provide, and with what attitude.
On one hand, I think asking other mamas who have had experiences with them how it was is a good idea, but I also think it's a very individual thing, kwim? I know some moms, a couple quite well, who have had wonderful experiences with the local MWs. But after my own experiences I just can't trust that they will provide the care I want or need.
What I'm saying is, basically, ask around, see what other mamas have experienced with them. But don't discount your own feelings and intuitions. Even if everyone else loves them, if you don't then you should change care providers. Don't tell yourself that you have to love them cuz everyone else did/does, kwim?