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Old 10-12-2012, 07:27 AM   #161
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Re: Do you ever feel judged regarding not circumcising?

I have not read the whole thread, but yes, we have felt/been judged for leaving ds2 intact. we are Jewish, and circ'd ds1 because we didn't know there was another option. with dd, we read a lot, and talked to our Conservative (denominational; not political leaning)Rabbi, and were undecided at her birth (thankfully, she's a girl). we didn't know what #3 would be, but I was adament that we wouldn't circ if he was a boy, and it took my wife a while to come around. again, we met with our Rabbi -- looking for some reason other than "because G-d said so" -- which wasn't enough for us, since we see the Torah as an historical document that has been interpreted multiple times by people, not as the direct word of G-d. she could not offer anything else, except for the cultural "its what we do" reasoning, so we madenit clear we wouldn't be circing, and she made it clear we would no longer be welcome as members of that synagogue. she wouldn't allow us to welcome our son at the synagogue as that would be seen as tacit approval of an act which, in her view, rendered our son not fully Jewish. so, we left that synagogue for a reform congregation which encourages, but does not require circ for full membership. my SIL, who is also a religious leader, gave the sermon at her son's bar mitzvah that was a pointed attack on our decision all about the critical importance to Judaism of the continued tradition of circumcision -- my wife was there alone with our intact 4 month old ds2. that pretty much destroyed their relationship, and we don't really speak to her anymore.

ETA: not to hijack, but how do you handle situations where you know someone intends to circ, but haven't asked for your opinion? My brother and SIL are expecting their first son in a few weeks, and i'm pretty sure they're planning to circ. my wife asked me the other day if i was going to say anything to my brother, and I'm not sure about it. How do you handle that type of situation?
SAHD to J 12.27.05, M 12.27.08, and A 2.15.11.

Last edited by keysersoze; 10-12-2012 at 07:33 AM.
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