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Old 10-13-2012, 02:26 PM   #8
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omgoodgravy
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Re: WWYD (sensitive topic, bullying and more)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom2Connor View Post
I'm sure I'll be in the minority but a few points to make:

You haven't determined which came first (but honestly, either way, I still don't think the coach is "bullying" your son). You seem to be assuming that the coach has been "bullying" your son which is therefore causing your son to bully others. Honestly, it sounds to me (as you've written it) that the coach was aware or even witnessed your sons horrific behavior during the school gettogether, and therefore is punishing your son by altering his position on the team, making him do extra physical work, etc. My DH grew up playing football and this was totally normal and AFAIK from others with older kids in sports, it still is. It's not bulling to take team members who are misbehaving or doing poorly in school and bench them or make them run laps, do extra wind sprints, pushups, etc.

Regarding being late, is it because he had detention? If so, then it's likely more punishment - as I mentioned above - for the behavior vs being "late." Sometimes lifes lessons are not learned the easy way, and if the coach isn't beating him then quite frankly, if my son had behaved as yours had, I'd let the coach work his little butt off every single day and no, I would not let him quit the team because he didn't like the punishment.
NO! Not at 13. As a Coach you dont get to punish a kid because of something he has not control over. She said it was for missing practice not being late, sounds like Mom drops off so I am guessing a Rec program which means the Coach and school have nothing in common? OP is this program through the school? If so, I have an issue with multiple punishments meaning from the school and the football coach and the OP's post made the reason clear, they dont get it! If the Coach is punishing him because of what happening in school then he needs to say that, but from the other Mom it was for missing practice and the son agreed, so the Coach is bullying the child. Making him do something that is embarrassing while others get to laugh and watch is not COOL and downright bullying. If my kid acts like a jerk at practice (and yeah I am that parent that makes it very clear to my kid when he acts like a jerk) then yeah the Coach can lay the law down. If this was high school/college and my kid was acting this way they sure nail his tail to the wall, but that is not the vibe I get from the OP's original post.
I would take him to the next practice with the promise of making things right. Have him gear up and head out with a smile on his face. I would then "pretend" to leave and have a little stakeout and see what Coach does, if things go smooth no worries, if Coach gets into bullying, make yourself known. I need to see it with my own eyes to make a determination, but seems to me that Coach thinks he can get away with it because you are not there and to fix that you need to show up, icognito works best. I would enjoy seeing him sqirm his way out of being wrong Coach that is.
It takes a lot to raise a boy to a man and bullying is definitely NO WAY to do it either on the field or off!

Last edited by omgoodgravy; 10-13-2012 at 02:29 PM.
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