Re: Toddler and Newborn, how long for the "adjustment phase"...
One thing that helped us (ours are a little closer than yours) was me being verbal about the baby waiting sometimes- I'd put the little one down to play on the floor and tell her aloud, "You're going to have to wait, it's big sister's turn to cuddle." If she went down for a nap, even if she was sleeping, I'd make a big deal out of it being big sister's turn for such-and-such.
I bundled them up and got out of the house- just a walk down the street. Fresh air always helps my older daughter feel better. It helped my mood too.
I'd try to verbalize her feelings- I'd pull her in my lap and hug on her and tell her, "Wow, I can see you're feeling really upset. I bet you want to be first. Right now it is Bean's turn to be first doing xyz."
It's so hard!
I did address the behaviors because being kind to your siblings is important, but they were there for a few months. I also had to give myself time because my hormones were SO about protecting the baby- which is understandable.
ETA: I totally forgot about snacks! I'd put older dd in a high chair and give her a snack during one morning nursing and one afternoon nursing. I pulled her in the living room where I could see her, but it gave her a special time (because the baby was just "too little to have snacks like big sister") and I had at least two nursings a day with just my little one!
Last edited by teacherpippi; 10-13-2012 at 03:30 PM.