My dh is the same. Occasionally he thinks he's helping me by making pancakes from scratch for breakfast but the mess I walk into makes me want to cry! I eat the pancakes staring at the wall so I can enjoy them and not see the disaster he made! It's really not worth his help for that one meal with how long it takes me to clean it. It's lunchtime by the time I'm done cleaning breakfast. He also somehow scratched up and destroyed my favorite mixing bowl! I try so hard to appreciate his efforts but it can be hard. With four small children, I don't need another large mess to clean up! Dh is very frugal and likes to take out trash after its been pushed down hard and overflowing onto the floor. My 2 year old gets into it and when I go to pull it out, it gets stuck and rips spilling more junk or sometimes I can't even pull it out and have to wait hours without a trash for him to feel like helping get it out. And I have to keep a smile on my face the whole time because if I look irritated it starts a big fight. I trip over his boat size shoes in every room of the house and he complains about toys being left out! His entire load of laundry is inside out. That gets really annoying when its folding time. Especially after telling him for years that I hate that. Lots of times I just hang it all inside out. That way if he wants to wear it, he'll have to put it right side out. Then it's the 'sneak load' of laundry I have to worry about! He decides to help out again and do a load of laundry. So he washes one load and does no more. Since I don't know it's there, it gets skunked from sitting wet too long! How is that helping? Transferring it to the dryer would really be helpful and folding it and putting it away would be even more helpful. No, let's do a sneak load and surprise her the next day with skunk city. The hardest thing is keeping a positive attitude and not letting the irritation or bitterness set in.
Parttime homeschooling, blessed mama of one baby boy and three little girls, 2,4,6.