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Old 10-14-2012, 01:58 PM   #4
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Re: Give me insight please: Former spouses and parenting

Originally Posted by Suzi View Post
I'm the single mom, similar situation. My ex's wife and I really get along pretty well, but that doesn't mean we always see eye-to-eye. We have 50-50 so I don't do anything when I could have them. If they have to work late I'm the one going to pick them up and watch them at their house. I use a babysitter about once a year. But, if I was in your shoes these are the things I'd tell myself to stay sane

She may not be working but she is doing something she thinks is important, and it may be important to her mental health and happiness. She could be dating, shopping, running errands, getting massages...I have no idea but as long as she's not doing drugs I wouldn't care too much. Brewing beer isn't exactly the kind of hobby I would pick up so I don't understand giving up time with my kids for that.

Some things I have felt are that I am one parent and they are two but they are only willing to do the same amount of work I do. Now, I want my kids as much as possible but sometimes you need help. I think they make twice as much money as I do but they certainly never pay more than 1/2 of a bill, so sometimes I think they owe me or crap like that. Now, I get back to my rationale brain and realize that this is not the case but I can see how other single moms might get stuck in that mindset.
You make a good point about we being two and she being one. I try to keep that in mind. That is why we never push the issue with her about having the kids each weekend, even though they complain and feel deprived from taking part in stuff with their friends.

With the amount of child support we pay and me not working she has about 1.5 times the income we do. She is sitting pretty from my point of view.

But it is like you say, I get into the mindset that she owes us a trip down here. I need to snap out of it I guess.

I wonder what is going to happen today because we really cannot take the trip up there. Hope she gets back to us with an answer as to whether she is willing to drive or not. We might have to take the buses otherwise - which would be a 3 hour trip for us.
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