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Old 10-14-2012, 05:16 PM   #348
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carriek38
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Re: TTC 30+ Oct. 8-Oct. 14

Thanks for the well wishes, ladies; I appreciate it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tedcgh View Post
Hugs Carrie. Magbe just a bad test? Hopefully the beta will be good news. Truthfully I would be depressed and angry. I don't like people telling me what to do and I would know we wouldn't be successful in that time either. Now if IVF was the only option I would spend my thousands on adoption. We have thought about adopting during our whole relationship and truthfully we were going to adopt this time instead of TTC. Then I got baby fever and I just didn't want to try private infant adoption at this time. It will still be an option though if we stop TTC.
We're still foster/adopt certified...we've discussed it a number of times. We pursued it b/c we were primarily interested in foster care, not necessarily adoption, but we wanted the option to adopt if a child in our care were a good fit in our home & was freed. Adoption for us could be a very expensive endeavor w/ a very long wait. Adopting (purposely) out of FC is not really something I'm interested in. The county we're certified in truly doesn't place infants, but for maybe 1 or 2 per year, & that's for FC, not directly adoption. The county where we live is where we started our foster/adopt certification; we chose not to complete b/c of some practices that were pretty biased against any non-white, non-straight or otherwise non-majority households. We haven't seriously pursued private adoption b/c it can be so difficult & expensive for S-S couples...and b/c we'd like to have that baby before we're both 50

Quote:
Originally Posted by newmommy13 View Post
Ugh carrie! Im so angry for you! I dont know what i would do in that situation, if we were you and freya. Those odds are crushing, but ive heard adoption advocates say there is 100% success rate in adoption. And while i suppose that is true if you wait long enough and throw enough money at it i know for a lot of women its just not the same. Or i should say, a decision of adoption vs fertility treatments comes with some grieving period. Even then most hetero couples can still ntnp and hope for a miracle pregnancy. For you guys...that would REALLY be a miracle. And i dont know if this is true for you, but it might be nice to have bio babies that are half sibs to hold on to that sense of normalcy. Or that might not even be a consideration which is cool too.

If you did ivf do you have a vial of Es donor sperm left or could you not use that?
One of the ladies I work with did Clomid for a while before she adopted her daughter in the early '80s. I think it was about 3yrs later that she ended up pg w/ her 2nd daughter.

I actually have 2 vials of low-count sperm from Ellie's donor; they are useable for either IUI or IVF. It would be nice for them to be half-sibs, but the longer we go on, the less imperative it is, KWIM? I mean, this IUI was not the same donor. I had bought 2 vials from another cryobank when Ellie's donor was no longer available; I used it for the 1st IUI & this one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 812ajack View Post
If I was in your shoes I would prob go another round of IUI, and then I prob would go for the IVF (if financially posssible)- I think from listening to you in your heart you want something that no one could take from you if something did happen (and I hope it never does) but ultimately its up to you. Hopefully your tests start getting daker and your beta gets high as well and you won't have to worry about it
Yes and no, I guess. I don't want it to be "mine" in a creepy "It's all mine, my preshhhhhuuuussss!" kind of way, but more in the way that (b/c of my own family baggage) I'm pretty sensitive to power imbalances & I have less power in my family--I have fewer financial resources & I have no bio connection to Ellie, so while I have some legal protections in NY, I still have less power in terms of parental rights...Ellie wants a sib (a sister, really ) & this would help balance things a bit.

IDK, I've got the go-ahead from DP to talk to them tomorrow about IVF & at least exploring the financials on it. It really might be do-able if DP's insurance continues to cover meds & monitoring & we just have to cover the IVF itself. DP has PCOS, so getting pg is no small thing for her, either, & I believe she'd like to have another. I feel like crap on the meds, but I produce lots of good-looking follicles w/ not a ton of meds, given enough time. Hopefully, I would produce enough & the ICSI would go well enough to do a fresh cycle & freeze. That might give DP the option of doing an FET at some point, which I think she'd be interested in.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mamatoabunch View Post
Well af showed this morning. I am never buying FRED again. They used to be my go to, but no more. I was fooled, well kind of. Anyway, I had a big, fat cry after Mass today. Nothing seems to be going right.
I'm with you. I think my "big fat cry" will come later this week & will require a call-in to work, lots of knitting, maybe a nap, & probably some wine.
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Carrie. Wifey to F, Mama to Baby Bear, Nugget, and Teeny.
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