10-17-2012, 06:36 PM
Join Date: May 2007
Re: How to make it on your own?
She does need to find some kind of work. If she needs to stay with her kiddos then babysitting is probably the best answer. If she could work at a daycare center that would help give her a little more freedom from her husband, maybe even grow her support system. I also think most future employers prefer employees that worked for a more traditional place instead of themselves. Selling items online can be nice because the money can be "hidden" in paypal.
They will likely have to declare bankruptcy, it sucks, my friend and her ex-husband just went through this.
She will need to submit all kinds of stuff to the lawyer to help with a child support calculation. Its been awhile for me but I was thinking they needed tax statements, a couple of paystubs, bank account statements, all that sort of stuff.
If she can't afford the house payment I would consider moving out first, that way she cant be stuck with it. She "should" get child support to help with it but if he is a deadbeat then I wouldn't count on it. She would still have her name on the loan to deal with but hopefully the judge wouldn't make her responsible for the monthly payments.
It doesn't matter what's in whose name unless it was obtained before they were married.
With the credit cards there are two ways to look at it. Usually they count the debt as when someone filed for divorce, so she may want to rack them up right before that. My ex was smart and went and bought a new washer and dryer right before he filed. So we agreed that his new washer and dryer had a value of $500 or something like that and later I learned he still owed on them, $1200, so he got me to help pay a good chunk of his new washer and dryer. Disclaimer: that is the only thing he did like that and I think I am mainly angry that I didn't get to
Is custody going to be a no-brainer or will he have an argument for why he is more fit to parent the kiddos? Around here 50-50 is the standard, you really have to prove incompetence at some point to get something else (assuming both parties want custody). Cheating itself doesn't count against him in the parenting department unless he was neglectful of his children to sleep with other women.
Suzi, working mama to my ODS(2004)
and married to the love of my life