Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: West Plains, MO
First time with an OB...Normal?
I have either had Unassisted home/waterbirths, used a MW for basic needs, or just winged it. Until my last birth in Oct 2010. MW was 3 hours away, had to be checked by the hospital, they refused to let me leave under the threat of the Police, CPS, you name it. So I was forced to have a hospital delivery, had a horrible time, PP bleed, dx with severe PTSD after it. And here I sit, at almost 16wks with baby #4, in ND, where Homebirths are NOT welcomed, and the nearest MW is 4+ hours away.
It took me forever to find an OB I think I sort of like. I saw him at 13wks. Where I had like 11 vials of bloods removed, STD, Pap, internal and breast exams, all the "basic" OB things from what I gather. Of course I have to have the Pap done over again, at their expense, because the result came back with "background lubricant" which is odd, because DH and I have NEVER even owned lubricant, the Dr didn't use any to avoid contamination, and DH and I had abstained from DTD for 48 hours. So I have an appt on the 30th, at 17+wks for the Quad screen, more labs, another Pap, and meet with the Dr again. I can't refuse the Quad screen, since he requires it, which is fine, despite the high level of false +'s and anxiety it can cause. I am not going to rock the boat over something like that. I am saving the waves for later. But, here are the issues I am having:
He ALREADY has me down for an induction at 38wks. As in the date is set. Why? He said because I have labors under 4-5 hours start to finish, and I am at least an hour away, he is just going to do the "whole Pitocin, AROM and Cervidil if needed" routine. I have never gone into labor before 39wks, and my last labor they did AROM, and Pit, and it wasn't a great experience., nor was it needed other than to get me done before shift change. I kid you not. I am all for getting labor started at home with MY normal methods, but the Section rate with a straight forward induction is higher than I am comfortable with. Add to that he said if it comes making any sudden choices like an episiotomy/forceps and things like that, he just does them without having to explain. That is damn near exactly what he said.
And then there is the breastfeeding issue. I am "lightly" bf'ing my just turned 2 year old DD. She nurses 2-3 times a day. I have tandem nursed through pg before, and have at a min. single nursed through my last 2, not including this one. With no issues. Yup, I dialate early (4-5cm around 36wks), but don't go into labor until 42-41-39wks in that order. This Dr is old school and insists that I will deliver before 34wks because ALL bf'ing causes preterm labor. DH and I are strong advocates of child led weaning, and my others have weaned at 3yrs and a few months. DH said to just tell him Lily weaned and let it go. Not like she will be nursing in his office anyhow. But still, he is sooo pushy on this.
I have yet to approach the fact I will be refusing the eye ointment, all shots and some other tests. I will consent to the Newborn screening since they can turn you into CPS here for refusing it. At least that has happened to 2 friends so far. I hate having to deliver in ND, but going home to CA in the late winter/early spring with 3 kiddos in tow, isn't going to happen. Plus, DH missed the birth last time, and I want him with me this time. He is a walking force to be reckoned with, and I need him in my corner.
Does any of this seem out of the norm? I really don't want to start over again with a new OB, so do I need to just stand my ground? I will be making a VERY detailed birth plan, and going over it with him long before my due date, but what else can I do?