Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: New Hampshire
Totally off topic vent
I completely understand if no one wants to read through my sob story here. I don't want to call my mom at this hour, or bother my hubby after a long day, but I need to vent. If you do read, thanks.
I believe I've mentioned awhile ago that I had a falling-out with a friend about a month or so ago. Long story short: she is super negative, gossipy, and a liar. I began to distance myself from her, and she flipped out on me via text when I announced my pregnancy on FB. She was mad that I didn't tell her first, and said I should have because I was "there" for her when I had my m/c earlier this year. It was unbelievably painful to hear her try to guilt-trip me using my own child's death, and I angrily told her to leave me and my family alone, and she responded by telling me I'm a horrible excuse for a friend and to lose her number. She's one of those sweet as pie girls on the outside, but the moment you cross her, she turns on you. It's never her fault, always everyone else's....it's exhausting, and I'm better off away from her. She's a toxic person.
The wrinkle here is that I live in a small (<40 unit) condo community and she's my neighbor. I'm FB friends with 2 other girls who live here, and it's obvious by their FB posts (and what I see driving in/out of our community) that she's "replaced" me with them. We all knew one another, but we weren't close-just neighbors. Now the 3 of them are all besties. Which, really, is fine. What hurts is that I get an obvious coldness and weirdness from those girls now. I even feel like they're spying on my life in a weird way...like one of them sends me a chatty message with a few neighborly questions, and when I answer and ask her the same sort of "how's life and the fam?" stuff, she never wrote back. It's as though she just wanted answers, not that she really cared or was trying to be friendly. So, I am pretty convinced that my ex-friend has aired all my dirty laundry, and painted me as a terrible person to our neighbors. I'm not perfect, but darn it I'm a good person!
Maybe I'm being stupid and paranoid, but I feel like I'm now the b!tch of the neighborhood. It hurts so much to feel like the other young families hate me...and hurts even more when my kids want to play with their kids, but I'm afraid to even go out there. Like it will be awkward at best, confrontational at best.
I know I could just go out and ignore the giant elephant in the room, but if I can't even FB msg these girls and feel like it's okay, the thought of face to face is nauseating.
And, most of all, I DON'T want to end up gossiping about my gossipy friend. I just don't know how else to clear my name.
All I hold onto is that these girls will see my ex-friend's true colors eventually, and maybe will understand me better someday.
It's all so stupid. I'm hormonal and sad, and feel so alone in my own home. It's horrible. I try to not talk to my DH about it much when I'm extra sad about it (i'm in tears as I type right now) because I know that it makes him feel bad, too. I can escape this horrible place when we sell and move away, but we bought in 2007 and have lost almost half of the condo's value thanks to the economy. We can't afford to sell until the market picks up...and since DH is the breadwinner, I know he feels awful that we just can't afford to leave right now. So, yeah, I don't like crying to him about feeling like an outcast in my neighborhood. He works too hard, and is too much of an amazing husband and father to feel like anything less because the poor guy can't make up an $80k loss in home value over 5 years.
I'm sorry for all this. I need a big old hug, and I need to feel like some people believe that I'm a good person. I know you ladies all barely know me...so maybe I just need to vent and feel like I have a proverbial shoulder to cry on somewhere.
Lauren married to DH since 9/07
Catholic, homeschooling mama to DD1 (9/08), DD2
(8/10), and DD3