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Old 10-26-2012, 12:26 AM   #34
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firststella
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: San Diego, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiliki
I close my eyes and leave the room if I'm about to totally lose it. I walk to a different room, close the door behind me, and do one of a few things - cry, yell into a pillow, wash my face, say a prayer, look out my window at the beautiful day outside, or lay down and take a 5 min breather - and I take DEEP breaths. Usually I'm much calmer in about two minutes. Then I mentally prepare myself to go back and tackle it again. And I do. I go back, determined not to yell, and I usually do fine.

If it's already escalated (and I have a VERY stubborn daughter, so things escalate here very quickly if I am not on my game 100%) and I can't leave the room, I close my eyes and take some quick deep breaths, and force myself to speak quieter than I normally would. B/c then it's harder for me to get to yelling b/c I'm starting out very quietly. I also try a different method from whatever it is I've been trying up to this point. So if we're battling over time outs, I will switch it up "ok, you don't have to sit in time out, get up, you're going to bring me ____ toy."

I used to get srsly bent out of shape dealing w/my kids b/c I was alone 99% of the time with them, with no help, and I was just worn out and I never had a break. My Dad once saw one of my poorer parenting moments. (and I really respect my dad, he has always been what I consider the closest thing to a perfect parent that there could be) He came to me later and said, "If you find that YOU are more upset than your child is when you are disciplining them, then you are doing something wrong. Your child should be the one suffering for their bad behavior. YOU have to stay calm. You can't be a good parent when you get so worked up." ... and so I try my best to apply that. But I'm not as great as he is. So I still fail. But I do try.
Thank you for sharing this, I'll try to remember that!
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