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Old 08-13-2007, 03:57 PM   #44
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Monzie
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: WI, USA
Posts: 1,361
Re: LOL, I'm curious...

At a recent prenatal appointment, my midwife asked me to do some "birth art" depicting what I envisioned my birth was going to be like. She said it was useful bcause many women's subconscious fears are revealed in their artwork.

I laughed and told her I was only afraid of one thing....pooping on the table during labor. She said, "It happens to about half of the women we see. Its no big deal." But I explained to her that I grew up in a very "lady-like" household where we never went to the bathroom or farted in front of anyone EVER and we were forbidden to even say the word "fart." Needless to say, I have *ahem* elimination issues to this day.

The midwife said "So, if you poop, do you want me to just pretend I farted?" and I said "YES!!!!" She wrote something in my file and we went on with the rest of my appointment as usual.

Anyway. Last week, I had my prenatal appointment with a different midwife at the clinic and, as she was scanning my file, she started to chuckle. I said "Is there a Post-It note in there that says I don't want to know if I poop?" and she almost fell off her chair laughing.

This is why I love my birth center. Where else can you put something like that in your birth plan and have it taken seriously??
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