11-06-2012, 01:45 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Re: Do you have a daily sched.?
Sounds like it's time for a family meeting. I would lay it all out there and tell them what they can expect from you, and what you expect from them.
You're not a maid. You don't need to be a doormat. They can contribute and be respectful of you.
I would start collecting things the kids leave out into a bin (one for each of them). Make them "earn" the items back. If they don't care about the items, they go in the trash or get donated.
I put my foot down with my husband's laundry. I only wash what is properly put into the laundry basket. I would tell your husband that you will do one load of his laundry a week, and he can either do the rest himself or you'll bag up the extra and just set it aside for him. Or, ask him what he'd like you to do about his laundry. I did that with my husband. I was so sick of asking him that I finally said, "What would you like me to do about it?" Making HIM think of a solution seemed to help. It was no longer me nagging, it put the ball in his court.
Get a box for your husband's stuff. Whatever he leaves out that is his, put it in the box. Put the box either in an area of the house that is his, or put it somewhere you can easily access.
With some of the things that annoy me with DH, I just do it myself (hey, I'm not perfect, either). But some stuff I won't put up with. If he won't deal with it because he's being lazy (or is "busy" or whatever), that doesn't necessarily mean that I am going to do it for him. If it's in my way, I bag or box it up and put it in his office. Or on his side of the bed. Or I bag up clothes and put them in the laundry room. Or whatever. I'm not going to run myself ragged and I'm not going to put up with being a servant. Not my job.
For your son and transitions, would it help if you told him, "We will be doing x in five minutes" or something like that? Giving him a heads up that things will be changing soon? But I agree that a routine would help if he knew what to expect overall.
Cut yourself some slack. Do your best, but it won't be perfect. Ease into a routine, so that it becomes something you can stick to.
Mommy to Grant (July 2010) and Greta (July 2012)
I purged 2,920 items in 2012! Working on 2,013 items for 2013.