Amanda - don't know if you remember me, but we were in the JuneBugs group together
I am so sorry for your loss.
I understand what you mean, about it being totally unexpected after your healthy pregnancies - we had our first 3 pregnancies with no troubles before we had any losses. Then 3 followed before we got a sticky Levi.
It sounds... maybe strange, maybe odd... but the first and 2nd miscarriages were the hardest - the first because it was totally a shock, the 2nd because I (naively) thought it couldn't possibly happen twice. After those ones it got... easier somehow.
Then we lost Elli... and that was a whole different loss altogether.
It is totally normal to feel sadness about your loss - it was at the time, it is now, and it will be for the rest of your years.
Grief is strange, and comes and goes (seemingly) with no rhyme or reason. That's totally normal. I've found, honestly, it's easier to let the waves of emotion come. Don't fight them. Just let them come, and they will recede.
(and sorry for the novel there)
Congrats on your new little bean!
for many healthy months to come with this new little one growing inside you.
This is an absolutely wonderful group, I'm so glad you found it... while at the same time so sorry you "belong" here. It's okay to say what's on your mind. Even if we haven't felt the same, we are here to listen and to lend a shoulder when needed.