View Single Post
Old 11-10-2012, 07:54 AM   #14
Registered Users
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,381
Re: Asked to be adoptive parent...

Originally Posted by MillieP View Post
OK, I'm sorry but this is so super offensive to me. It's not anyone's job to control anyone else's reproductive choices. *Requiring* her to take birth control education classes? Do those kinds of classes even exist? And on what authority would you require that? I can see maybe, MAYBE, offering support if she wanted more information about reproductive choices or birth control (not something I would ever do but I wouldn't cringe at that in the same way), but the way you phrase this sounds so disrespectful to the expectant moms in these situations. Pleasee try and have some compassion for a difficult situation, without making assumptions and judgments. ESPECIALLY if you are going to even consider becoming an adoptive parent. Thanks.
Yes, these kinds of classes do exist, and yes, adoptive parents can require them. I personally have conducted dozens of adoptions and have seen it happen several times, particularly in situations when the birthmother was using drugs/alcohol and continually reproducing.

In addition, I have twice seen adoptive parents only consent to adoption if the birthmother agreed to a tubal ligation after the birth (which the adoptive parents funded). In both instances, the birth mothers had been using drugs while pregnant and kept getting pregnant and placing each subsequent child with the same families (two separate families/BMs, same circumstances). The adoptive families were frustrated that the BMs continued to create children only to abuse them in utero, and their children (because they adopted them) would suffer a lifetime of mental/physical disability as a result.

While I agree that it should not be anyone's "job" to control someone else's reproductive choices, the sad truth is that the unborn infants are the ones paying the price. *Someone* needs to protect them, by prevention if necessary.

Last edited by Melinda29; 11-10-2012 at 08:26 AM.
Melinda29 is offline   Reply With Quote