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Old 11-14-2012, 11:19 AM   #16
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luvsviola
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Re: Mommy Mistake - How To Fix? Took Away 5yo's Birthday Party

Hugs mama! We are in counseling for DS's tantrums (almost 4). He has an oppositional defiant diagnosis, and sounds a lot like your DD...just can't "earn" things back.

I would get some family counseling. It will make a difference in the way you feel, and the way you feel equipped to deal. Make it at a time your DH can come too.

As for the party, I would wait til she has a good day, and let her "earn" it back by doing great homework or something. Those kind of things are important memories of childhood IMO. I still remember my birthday party in Kindy. We had it at Chuck E Cheese and it was super special.

Come up with a list of consequences mentally, so that next time you need to punish, you already have a mental idea of what you are going to do.

There is a GREAT book called "Parenting the Defiant Child" by Kazdin, which is super helpful. Our developmental pediatrician recommended it, and it is super helping with DS.
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