Re: Mommy Mistake - How To Fix? Took Away 5yo's Birthday Party
Originally Posted by badmisterkitty
Thanks to everyone for chiming in. It's really helping me gain some perspective.
No, I do not think the punishment fits the crime. I think it's my fault she escalated to the point she did. I'm trying to think really clearly on this, and honestly, if I had chosen to ignore her like I hsould have, it never would have happened. But I fed into her tantrum and let anger take over.
I do this too, most of the time ds1 has an all out tantrum it is fueled by my emotions and reactions. Then I have a huge sense of guilt and responsibility for the situation. I have been trying my best to keep calm. Tough because I am an emotional person. I have actually developed jaw inflamation from clenching my teeth when I am holding back. I know it feels awful afterwards but you are doing your best. You are actively seeking a way to respond better and that is a sign that you are a great mommy.
I DO need to ignore her. She will not sit alone anywhere.. She panics and it's equally unpleasant as having to be with her because our house is small. I'm going to try taking her to her room and shutting the door and completely ignoring her tantrum, even if she tries to beat me up. And she will. That's where I get into trouble because I think her getting physical with me is an absolute NO WAY, but by acknowledging that I don't approve it fuels her tantrum. At least if we're in her bedroom she'll only beat me up and not lash out at her siblings. Oh my gosh I could have written this too. When we were having lots of bad tantrums he would have to go to his room and the door would be shut with me just outside because he would hit and kick which is an absolute no no and makes me want to emotionally snap.
I should also point out that she doesn't hit DH hardly ever. He says it's because he can ignore her better. I can't disagree with that.
Adoring wife to Chris
best mommy I can be to Jackson
and my chunky monkey Weston
CD, ERF, EBF, BW, and kept my second boy intact!