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Old 11-14-2012, 11:43 AM   #21
happysmileylady
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Re: Mommy Mistake - How To Fix? Took Away 5yo's Birthday Party

Quote:
Originally Posted by badmisterkitty View Post
Thanks to everyone for chiming in. It's really helping me gain some perspective.

No, I do not think the punishment fits the crime. I think it's my fault she escalated to the point she did. I'm trying to think really clearly on this, and honestly, if I had chosen to ignore her like I hsould have, it never would have happened. But I fed into her tantrum and let anger take over.

I DO need to ignore her. She will not sit alone anywhere.. She panics and it's equally unpleasant as having to be with her because our house is small. I'm going to try taking her to her room and shutting the door and completely ignoring her tantrum, even if she tries to beat me up. And she will. That's where I get into trouble because I think her getting physical with me is an absolute NO WAY, but by acknowledging that I don't approve it fuels her tantrum. At least if we're in her bedroom she'll only beat me up and not lash out at her siblings. I should also point out that she doesn't hit DH hardly ever. He says it's because he can ignore her better. I can't disagree with that.
She's 5, can't "beat you up." Get physical, yes, but a 5 year old isn't capable of "beating up" and adult grown woman. Language like that says to me that you have given her quite a bit of power.

And, if you have to take her to her room when she's throwing a fit, why on earth would you stay IN the room? I sure as heck wouldn't. I suggest instead, closing the door and if she isn't going to stay there you stay OUTSIDE the door, and just continue to put her back in every time she tries to leave, supernanny style. You completely ignore the tantrum, do not say anything to her, you just silently put her back each and every time, until she's done with her fit. But stay OUTSIDE the door. By being in the room, you have now given her not just an audience, but a captive one. That will not help the situation at ALL.
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