Re: pain beyond anything
OP, please do not blame yourself for this! You were doing what everyone would think to be a wonderful choice for your daughter due to your circumstances at the time. Generally parents who want to adopt are exceptional parents. I'm so sorry this was not the case and it is not your fault!
A SAHM to four long out of diapers (all used cloth for all or part of their diapering years) and a baby girl currently in cloth part time.