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Old 11-16-2012, 06:06 AM   #2
sarahannecloud9's Avatar
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Crossville, Tn (Pleasant Hill)
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Re: Help me love this!

First ! Take a breath. It does take some getting used to.

I transitioned to the cooking from scratch thing last year when we bought this house. It's hard to manage so much at once, I can tell ya that! We found Cayden's many diagnoses after we started to move in, clear the over grown wooded property, rebuild the main outbuilding, a coop/run, leaking water lines, and you get the gist. Cayden then had major surgery, now on to hs. He sounds a lot like your kiddos. He just doesn't take me that serious as his "teacher". What has started to help is to tell him he can go back to ps anytime. He does NOT like that because they were descusing special ed. They were treating him like a pre-k student because he has trouble paying attention and the teacher this year let him compleatly fall behind, never informing us. Ray FINALLY found work and now there is no time for him to help here. It's a blessing to have even his small check because I only get a small disability check. So I can't do much, even though I try. The important thing to remember is to work as a team and be best friends. Either break up some of the responsibilities or do them together. Have you guys considered getting a place close by? You could still be near his childhood home, be near fil, and use equiptment. When we first moved here, we were in a camper on Ray's parents property, in the back. It was the worst years of my life because fil. His extreamly strict rules and always starting arguments. I never did anything right. It started causing Ray and I to fight daily and we just don't fight. They offered to give, yea right, half the land for a hous. Ray had his heart set on it and I put my foot down. I got us into goverment houseing. Then a yr later we were able to buy this place. I'm finally free. We have our problems, many. We found out our little homestead had land restriction with livestock, and there turned out to not be enough land. We just don't know what to do. Cayden really does need this lifestyle. He's on a strict diet. So we just do the best we can for now. Have you thought about just saving up to buy something close. I know your fil even being borderline hoarder will continue to and is not something that can just be gotten over. You might find it causes repeated issues. If you could sit down with him and come up with a strict plan and compromise, it may just work. It's a hard enough transition without having to deal with that, kwim? Take the pile of pvc, would he tollerate you puting it neatly behinh the barn? Say you want the yeard as clean as possible for the kids to play safely. Something like that could draw in snakes. Just one goal at a time. And the sit down with him too.

As for the chores, we gave Cayden the chance at $20 a week. We remove a checkmark when he does his whineing, fighting, repeating myself, and so on. So far he has only been earning around $4 a week. It will go towards supplies/expenses for Ray to put in a mini-pond, coyfish, and a duck or two. The coop was his first save up for, but with the surgery, we surprised him and used our saveings for most of it. Could you think of a reward system with something they would like to save for? William wants rabbits, so that will be soon.
Sarah, OCD about, Chickens, Gardening, Farming, and all things Homestead! Wife 2 my savior since 97 Jimmy Ray, momma 2 my blessingsCayden 3/29/05 ANDWilliam 1/23/09~~Desperate for just 1 more. ~~Missing my beloved moma, Karen- 4/14/09 and Daddy-89
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