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Old 11-16-2012, 08:16 AM   #4
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,275
Re: Help me love this!

((hugs)). I typed out a whole response and it erased!!! arg.

It takes time for a place to feel like home. It took me 5 years to feel like this place was my own.

For the boys, the hours your dh has to work is not helping! I remember my Dad needing to take a much more active role in their disciplining and time around that age. I hear the same from many other families. DH and I discussed how he will take a much more active role in hs and taking them to work with him in the fields more when they hit 11 yrs old and up. And I will take a more supportive role with them then. As they hit puberty, their hormones take over and they need to be under a male authority to learn how to become a man and to be under a woman a little less so they can blossom and the Dad can teach how to treat women (respectfully, helping, etc). A father's role is just so important during this time!

I totally understand about the house! We live in the house that dh grew up in and fil/mil were hoarders. They got upset about the things I threw out or had DH put into extra barns when I married and moved here (they live in the Grandparent house now). DH and I did fight a lot about all the crap. After MUCH prayer and patience, DH is now starting to work up the courage to get rid of stuff from the extra barns too. FIL, after 6 years, barks a little less about it, but still does bark. I learned to quit nagging and just be patient. I would LOVE for some more things to get gone, but know it will take more time. (a broken down 3wheeler from our yard part would be a great eye sore gone!). After 5 YEARS, we finished our room remodeling (had to do every room). And this past year, we were finally able to tackle more yard stuff (we have hundreds of acres, but have a yard area that is fenced in that was sooo ugly and such an eye sore). During that wait, I just tried to focus on the things that I could do while in the midst of having so many babies and inside work. So hang in there... it may take years, but you'll get there!!!

A woman's work is never done, huh? haha. Utilize the crockpot 3-4 times a week, always double/triple batches of food so you can freeze it and use it for other meals. You have a lot of new things on your plate and so maybe figure out a way to offer incentives and rewards for your boys helping out, until they learn it's a part of life to work. Money, trips, extra screen time. Prioritize what is important for dh and you and let some other stuff slide while you are adjusting. That way his and your needs are met and then build on that as a routine takes shape. I learned this when I had my 4th baby in 4 years. Every year I do a little more and a little more in the role of farmer's wife. And I try to give myself grace when I fail.

We started homeschooling my oldest (5 yrs. old) this year and it is hard to fit it in. Is there a homeschool coop in your area? it'd be great for your boys and for you... maybe ask the homeschooling board about ways to encourage your boys and yourself on this new adventure. Do you think it's the curriculum they don't love or just the thought of homeschooling? Being around like minded kids at that age would be great.

Give yourself a break and be patient. 2 months is not enough time... hang in there, Mama!

Last edited by raisingcropsandbabies; 11-16-2012 at 08:22 AM.
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