How much therapy are you doing with him? I think you have posted about it before but I don't remember? This is the sort of thing that a good behavioral therapist can really help with. 3 was a rough age with my oldest (he is ASD) and I know it is such a cliche thing to say but it did get better. Unfortunately it is getting worse again (darn pre-teen hormones) but things got pretty smooth for a long time through 4-10. We did a lot of work with a behavioral therapist from ECI then got into private therapy for feeding (he didn't eat) and occupational and it really changed things for him. I always hear a lot about ABA but we have never done it. I can't even get any of the local places to call me back so it looks unlikely that we will be doing it. Right now he is at a point where I may consider meds for him in the future but I can't say what a great difference therapy made.