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Old 11-17-2012, 07:17 PM   #6
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Join Date: Feb 2012
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Re: Weighing Pros/Cons of 4th C/S

Originally Posted by RachelFlores View Post
You are making a hard choice. Two things to think about; why do you need to make this decision so quickly? You have a lot of young children very close in age, is there any reason that you and you husband couldn't decide to wait 2-4 years and THEN make a decision on whether you are done adding to your family? The time might give you greater perspective and you can really KNOW that you are supposed to have another baby no matter the risks OR that you family is complete with 4 children. Also, there is more than one way to add children to a family, if you feel the risks are too great, you could look into adoption.

Personally, if i were in your shoes, would wait and see if my health got better over a few years and if I still felt that a 5th child was supposed join us. I would not want to get pregnant right away when I felt my body might not be up to the task.
Dh really wants me to come to a decision (thus the haste). We are using condoms and he hates it (as do I, but I don't do hormonal bc) so I think that plays a big factor in his impatience. He also likes them close together, but I told him I just can't right now. 4 in 4 years has put a toll on me (3 being c/s).

Anyway, I talked to DH the other night about it more in depth and he's giving me another 6 months to figure out what I want to do (he was really pushing me to come to a decision by 1 year old). I told him I would like to lose more babieS weight and kinda see how I feel after that and then the youngest will be 1-1/2 and that will probably make a difference (I've never had over 19 mos. apart kids and so to not even be pregnant at that point is sooo crazy and exciting to me). I'm glad he's comfortable with this because I felt like I was going crazy being on a timeline. DH is content with 4, feels done, but is fine with a 5th if that is what I want (though he really hates seeing me pregnant and during recovery... they are so helpless and that is a hard feeling for men!).

And Cowangel- I don't think I could regret a 5th baby and yet I might mourn the loss of bladder sensation or more painful adhesions and whatnot... it's a hard choice. I definitely want to be as healthy as I can be so I can mother my 4 kiddos the way they deserve. I hope it wouldn't have to be one or the other, but one must consider the risks that are real (esp. if a few have already happened). I guess I'll be staying in prayer! Never a bad thing! haha. Better than making a decision while so mixed up.
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