Re: Christmas $$ issue
I don't see a problem with it. Just because you budget the $200 doesn't mean you need to spend it. An older child getting a more expensive gift is very reasonable IMO than a toddler. It's not "thier money", it is your money that you have budgeted, to spend how you wish on each child. Unless you are writting the prices on each gift so each child knows you spent $200 on them it isn't their concern.
Maybe instead of saying $200 per child for christmas, how about looking at is at $600 for the kids Christmas presants and however it breaks down between the kids so that they each get the "something, want-need-read-play.
wife and mom-- no other special labels. Just trying to do the best I can.