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Old 11-19-2012, 10:58 PM   #6
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Re: Question re: time-outs

Originally Posted by carriek38 View Post
Oh sure, if DD peed on purpose, I'd totally make her clean it up. As a matter of fact, i wouldn't put it past her in general, but I run into this every night at bedtime. I get DD changed, give her a snack. Said snack generally involves a little milk or juice. I tell her it's bedtime. we go brush her teeth. I ask her if she needs to go potty. About 50% of the time she says yes & subsequently goes. The other 50% of the time, she says no, I ask if she's sure, she says she is, & I put her to bed. 5 minutes later, she yells that she has to go potty. I get her up & get her on the toilet. The vast, vast majority of the time, she does something. I'm sure that the quiet time lets her realize that her bladder is full. The other times, when she doesn't go, she gets something taken away...usually some sort of treat for the following day. This is also the case w/ time outs...if she fibs about having to go, she loses fruit snacks or something else that she loves.

I just seems kind of...mean, I guess, to engage in that kind of a power struggle w/ a toddler & essentially force them to have an accident. I mean, DD didn't really learn anything from that whole chain of events, except that the sitter is mean. I mean, she also learned that she won't be sad to stop going there anymore, so that's something I was afraid that I was way overblowing this (I've been known to do that), but I'm super glad there are only a few more days w/ this DCP.
I only have a 2yo and she's not yet potty trained... but, she does frequently request to sit on the potty when she's asked if she get down from the dinner table, but we've told her that she's not done. I have a hard time believing she's trying to manipulate me, but also a hard time believing it's not on purpose.

anyways... at night? I would tell her - it's time to go potty before bed. No asking, just tell her it's time. No power struggle 5 minutes later with possibly losing snacks the next day - just, it's time to go potty before bed. Period.

Honestly, I know I'm pregnant and all, but even when I wasn't, sometimes I'd think I didn't need to go pee, get in bed and then change my mind. And sometimes I'd get some pee and sometimes I'd get a couple drops. But, I can't make myself go to sleep if I'm sitting there wondering.. so, I just can't see punishing for that.

Potty makes everything harder. My friend's 3yo uses it ALL THE TIME to get out of bed. And she allows it cause what do you do? risk an accident? But if you can circumvent it by telling them to use the potty before getting in bed, then it's worth a try. Atleast it seems so to me.

ETA: about the timeout thing - I have no clue because it never occurred to me. I guess letting them out and then resetting the clock sounds like the wisest thing to do. But currently we just use timeouts to 'calm down'.
SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10), Luke Russett (04/13) and expecting 11/16. Wife and best friend to my airman.

Last edited by EmilytheStrange; 11-19-2012 at 10:59 PM.
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