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Old 11-20-2012, 07:05 AM   #49
Terra
Drinks her not-just-a-smoothie pina coladas in ALL CAPS in front of her preschoolers before she takes her CDs and goes home.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Central Florida
Posts: 12,253
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hillargh View Post
I can't remember a time anyone ever thanked me for changing my kids' diapers, their fathers included. Or when anyone did the majority of the things on that PP list. And guess what? I'm not crushed nor crying emo black tears in a corner.

If all it takes is 6w of being put after baby and mama sanity, to warp your entire world, my lessened attention isn't your biggest problem.

Why is it expected? I don't get it. Why should we have to feel as though we have to make up for taking care of a newborn? It's not something to be sorry for. So sorry to inconvenience you with my pesky habit of feeding, changing, engaging, keeping baby alive and all that. I know it's a bummer If anything WE should be being thanked for doing it and not going mad or hulk smashing someone/something along the way.

No, dear, you don't get to stick it in my bleeding, torn, raw, painful self that just birthed your child and carried on the family name. Not sorry. Your sexual WANTS (not needs, it isn't necessary, you don't die without it) aren't on my top priority list above BFing, eating, sleeping, surviving, etc. Not ashamed.

I hate the stigma. I really do. If I were a man I would be offended that so many women in the world think that men need to be coddled and made to feel extra super special just for existing and not running for the hills, and helping in ways that they should be anyway because it's their child, too. I would be annoyed someone thought so little of me that they would think I would put my sexual desires above my wife and child, or that I would find her going out of her way to do things to make me (the perfectly fine, not recovering, grown *** man) feel special rather than sleeping, taking a shower, healing, etc to be acceptable. No way, no how.

Appreciation is great. Fluffy bull crap is not. Sorry, all of this got me into ranty mode
A great big
Quote:
Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post



Don't come to my house then! This is what we call each other in front of the kids. One of the big reasons we got married is because we saw the other as awesome parent material and the fact that DH is the father of my children is a very big turn on.


But do you do it with the children not in the presence. I do get that you married thinking of the other as great parents. We feel that way too. I just think that yes I'm his wife first, not his mom and he's not my dad, so he doesn't get that title between us. In referring to him on behalf of the children in his presence, then yeah we do that. Like "Are you going to get some apple juice for daddy too." NOT...."Hey daddy want to have some alone time??" eeeksss lol
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