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Old 11-20-2012, 09:09 AM   #64
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Urchin
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

Quote:
Originally Posted by brookglen View Post

This in no way is any reflection of the love that I have for my husband, but I'm not going to go above and beyond to make him a happy camper when I've just produced a human being from my body.
Ditto!

I think my opinion of the article may make me sound like I don't give a crap about my husband, but in reality, I think he is the best man on the planet. In my regular life (ie. when I haven't just birthed a child) I do ridiculous things for him that would probably make a modern day feminist cringe. I LOVE cooking dinner every night for him after I work 9 hours, I like allowing him to relax and not worry about housework at all. I exert a foolish amount of effort in making sure he is happy before I am.

I just don't want to be expected to do all that right after having a baby...and the best part is, he didn't expect that. He was FABULOUS. When I was trying to "do it all" he was right behind me, demanding that I rest and not worry about cooking, cleaning, or grocery shopping.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hillargh View Post
I can't remember a time anyone ever thanked me for changing my kids' diapers, their fathers included. Or when anyone did the majority of the things on that PP list. And guess what? I'm not crushed nor crying emo black tears in a corner.

If all it takes is 6w of being put after baby and mama sanity, to warp your entire world, my lessened attention isn't your biggest problem.

Why is it expected? I don't get it. Why should we have to feel as though we have to make up for taking care of a newborn? It's not something to be sorry for. So sorry to inconvenience you with my pesky habit of feeding, changing, engaging, keeping baby alive and all that. I know it's a bummer If anything WE should be being thanked for doing it and not going mad or hulk smashing someone/something along the way.

No, dear, you don't get to stick it in my bleeding, torn, raw, painful self that just birthed your child and carried on the family name. Not sorry. Your sexual WANTS (not needs, it isn't necessary, you don't die without it) aren't on my top priority list above BFing, eating, sleeping, surviving, etc. Not ashamed.

I hate the stigma. I really do. If I were a man I would be offended that so many women in the world think that men need to be coddled and made to feel extra super special just for existing and not running for the hills, and helping in ways that they should be anyway because it's their child, too. I would be annoyed someone thought so little of me that they would think I would put my sexual desires above my wife and child, or that I would find her going out of her way to do things to make me (the perfectly fine, not recovering, grown *** man) feel special rather than sleeping, taking a shower, healing, etc to be acceptable. No way, no how.

Appreciation is great. Fluffy bull crap is not. Sorry, all of this got me into ranty mode

Sent from my Galaxy Nexus using DS Forum
Very well said! I think we need to give our men more credit...
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Last edited by Urchin; 11-20-2012 at 09:12 AM.
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