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Old 11-20-2012, 10:27 AM   #67
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Leah52
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Clifton Forge, VA
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Re: Are we stuck in the 1950's???

Quote:
Originally Posted by escapethevillage View Post
Well, like I said, some of those ideas are creepy. But, sending pictures of the baby, and saying "We miss you" is perfectly reasonable. Besides, I didn't get where she said when the baby was just a week or so old. I assumed she meant for the next several years, not as soon as the baby is born.
She states at the beginning of the article that is to get your husband through that long 6 week wait before he can have sex with you again, so he doesn't feel neglected.

I think it's crazy. I agree with a PP, I'm glad I didn't marry an insecure little boy. When I had our first couple of babies I tried to keep up with everything and still be the perfect wife and my husband went along with me. I ended up worn out and depressed. With the last 2 I have focused on me and the baby because I think that is what we are designed to do. My other kids, my husband, they will still be there when I am fully recovered. They take care of me, they help and support me. It may sound selfish but in the end it's for the good of the whole family. Mama and baby are bonded, mama is rested and the new normal is established. And I found that my husband fully embraced this! He is helpful and treats me with honor and respect, he adores the baby and understands that my focus has to be the baby for a short time.

I have a feeling my husband would be creeped out by that article. If the exhausted new mom is running around wondering if she has to do everything and the dad is sitting around feeling neglected then maybe he should step up and get involved in his family's daily life.

My husband actually told me the other day that he used to think that the parent's relationship was always the most important thing but now he has realized that the most important thing right now is these few years we have with our children. I know if he were given the option of me sitting on the couch reading a story to the kids or me upstairs laying out his pj's then he would choose the kids. Of course we've been together for 13 years and we're pretty secure in our relationship, I could maybe see a younger more immature man who hasn't been married long getting jealous after the birth of their first child....so not the kind of man my husband is but I'm sure there are men like that out there. I still don't think the list is a good idea, I think the men need to grow up and be responsible and realize that now that they have chosen to have children they are going to have to learn to share and wait in line.
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For there to be peace at home there must be peace in the heart. ~Lao Tzu

Last edited by Leah52; 11-20-2012 at 10:30 AM.
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