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Old 11-20-2012, 02:12 PM   #8
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Maine
Posts: 360
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Re: Pretoddlers and visitstion

Well I think you are right on this one mama I think the bottom line here is nursing or no 15 months is still a baby, and it goes against everything we know about attachment to suggest that what a baby needs is to give up time with her primary caregiver so the secondary caregiver in the situation feels like things are fair. (Is there any way you can find a counselor who is better informed about child development?) I also f firmly believe that it is the quality of time spent with parents that is significant and not just the quantity.

My dh and his ex had split before dss was even born and things were pretty rough between them for the first year. Dh wanted a lot more time with dss than she was willing to give. In hindsight, being an attached mama myself now, I can see she was right. We gradually increased our time with him but even still we didn't have him overnight until he was 4. We would add more time a little here and there, backing off if dss seemed stressed out. Now we have him half the time and it is just as normal as can be. He is very well adjusted and well attached to his mama and sf and me and dh.

So from my perspective as part of a part time custodial situation I think a gradual increase in time is totally reasonable. I would be willing to wean after 2 and in the meantime I would agree to adding morning hours to the schedule since ime mornings are the easiest times for people to have changes in their routine.
Sage - homemaker mama to 4 boys - A age 11, L age 7, J age 4 and A 9 months
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