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Old 11-21-2012, 02:27 AM   #9
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Join Date: Aug 2009
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Re: Help me love this!

I can relate to your post in many ways. We moved to our farm last winter. I also homeschool and have a kiddo with ASD. First let me say ... ASD kids NEED schedules and regular routines. (Well at least that is what I am told on a VERY regular basis by my son's team members.) They just do, even high functioning ones. I have no doubt it is super hard to motivate your kiddos to do any school work. IME my auzie kiddo has a very hard time self regulating for learning. My kiddo just can't - he either over focuses on one area or more likely won't focus on anything academic. Your kiddos have had lots of HUGE changes very suddenly. I think a "class" meeting and a easing into a stricter learning schedule will end up really helping. Even an "average" teen would be spinning from all the changes.

My Dh also works a LOT away from home so things are left to me. I can offer nothing but hugs for you there! It sucks finding yourself suddenly in the position of being the only one who parents on a regular basis. We try to just make sure that dad spends time with the kids one on one as often as he can. Our marriage is taking a hit but we are used to not seeing each other since we worked opposite shifts for several years until I became a SAHM.

Your FIL sounds just like my MIL. I don't live with her ... yet. She is moving in as soon as her house sells and as of now comes to visit for several months a year. It is hard to suddenly be spending 24/7 with another adult who you didn't "choose". I adore my MIL but she drives me NUTS too after a few days. I think it would be best to try and handle things as we try (but are not always able to do) I defer all MIL decisions and tough talks to my DH. His mom, his responsibility. I bet your FIL is also spinning from all the changes in his life. Maybe a break until after the holidays on some of the purging and get DH and him to formulate a FIRM plan on what stays and what goes???

As for the cooking from scratch. I think with everything else going on right now something is going to have to go. I personally would eat canned spaghetti sauce and make sure my kids were actually doing school work, and I got a break once in a while, to cooking from scratch and everything else suffering. I am NOT staying stop everything, or never go back but it sounds like you have bitten off more then ANYONE could chew!

I felt much like you did for the first several months. I missed our old house. I missed being able to walk to the store. I missed having access to everything within 5 minutes. Here I have to drive 20 minutes down the freeway to get to any shopping. I KNOW that isn't far to some but for me being totally urban I might has well have moved to mars! I missed DH being home since he has to work so much now to feed the mortgage. Honestly what helped was meeting people, buying some farm animals, getting focused on our school work and trying to let go of the things I just can't do. After a few months my new home, became our REAL home and I do love it here now - even if I don't have a clue what I am doing most of the time on the farm.

Oh and ETA - next time please consider letting the kids eat the toxic marsh-mellows How many more years are they going to have with granpa on the farm? Aim the sticks to were the wood is not the mattress and enjoy!

Last edited by mg5g; 11-21-2012 at 02:30 AM.
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