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Old 11-26-2012, 09:40 AM   #76
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slimy72
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Re: Blessed with children, Struggling for more Week of November 19th

Had a rough weekend on the emotional front. We decided to stay home from Dh's family's Thanksgiving dinner because his cousin just had a baby and his other cousin was having a baby shower after and it was just to hard for me. So I'm thinking low key dinner at home. It was nice then in the afternoon DH"s sister texted us to let us know she's expecting, again. Now two of his sisters this wouldn't bother me so much. But the other two, bother me a lot. This one already has 4 kids under the age of 5, now she will have 5 under the age of 6. MIL is there daycare and she's already beyond stressed with 4. Last time I asked MIL if she could watch DS she was concerned because the 4 would already be there and it was a lot for her, so I ended up taking my ds elsewhere. And he's older and pretty easy going. They already barely afford the kids they have-although I will say they are good parents who have been through some rough times and they always take care of their kids. But that's all not the part that really bothers me. The part I can't get over is how many times she or her husband feel the need to tell me that they "suffer" from infertility too, and know just what dh and I have been through. REALLY!!!! Because you didn't get pregnant on your own as fast as you thought you should and had to take clomid, which you got pregnant on in 1-2 months each time, and gave you a set of unexpected twins, that makes you infertile! And you "know" what it's like to try for 10 years, loose 6 pregnancies, and have to go through round after round of testing and meds, and tweaking meds, you think you know what I've been through, PLEASE! And of course because they are so infetile they got pregnant again even thought they had already said they were done and told everyone the twins were their last. GRrrrr. I shouldn't be mad, but I am. I'm hurt and sad and mad all at the same time. Not mad at them just mad at my own dang body that won't cooperate, and mad at whatever force in nature decided that every one related to me can get pregnant at the drop of a hat and I can't. And I know I"m just extra grumpy because my other SIL posted pics and videos of her crawling baby that was born just after my due date would have been with last year's loss. So I see hers and realize that mine would be there too. The one she called us about two weeks after we had a M/c to inform us she was pregnant again and she didnt' even want it. And now there will be another one that I will have to watch knowing mine should have been the same age but it isn't. I'm just back to being down and sad again. And I don't know how to snap out of it.
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hand spinning, soap making, sheep raising wife to my hardworking and FT WOHM to my 'lil & 6 angels in heaven & our rainbow baby that joined us safely this summer!
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Last edited by slimy72; 11-26-2012 at 10:57 AM.
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