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Old 11-27-2012, 03:26 PM   #7
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keen1981
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
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I had that feeling. I still do. Once I got this sticky bean though I was hit hard. Much worse than my boys. I just laid in bed from 4pm- next day. I felt absolutely horrible. I actually had moments of how can I do this to my kids!?? I felt selfish for wanting Levi so badly that I was no longer a decent mom to my boys. It was so hard. I never really complained to anyone. My husband knew though. He said it was like I was dying. Good part was I could still run in the morning and have an okay morning with them. But after 3-4 I was worthless

I do think people who have suffered a loss or infertility take more time to appreciate the gift. Not that everyone else is ungrateful or anything, just that you can't miss what you've never lost. Kwim? So as horrid as I felt. I was keeping that fear in my mind. I never complained about the baby I lost. I cheerfully felt fabulous and rocked it! And lost him. But man this one has been a shear test of my inner strength.


Yadada. Anyways, I get annoyed but then I try to remind myself that's it's my issue not theirs and sometimes it really is horrible. Down right horrible. And yet the most incredibly awesome gift- at the same time.
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